Across all aspects of our lives, there are a few things that touch everything. Money has already been a subject at the CornerEnd as one of the more frequent considerations, perhaps communication is the next.

As my career progressed, I started to get invited to Company conferences. At one, I was nominated to take part in a debate on communication.

The motion was “ This house believes that communication is the most important factor in delivering superior performance”

I was given the poison chalice of being against the motion! I suspect I drew this dubious honor as in a previous role I had broken new ground by publicly publishing the weekly performance of my department- warts and all. A tool which had a very positive impact.

Anyway in preparation for this event I had to do quite a bit of research covering such things as verbal and nonverbal; communication channels; feedback mechanisms; clarity of message; frequency impact ; target audience selection and so on.

For full transparency I lost this debate (no brainer) but claimed a moral victory as I somehow managed to convince 25% of the attendees to support my arguments!

Anyway, the change since that event has been phenomenal. Communication is now globally instantaneous with almost unlimited channels at our disposal. As we now deal with alternative truths, conspiracy theories, fake news, anonymous contributors in addition to some facts – then it can be argued that effective communication is more difficult in this modern world.

The individual has very limited options to provide value to the communication overload, basically

• making sense ( or otherwise) of what we hear
• personal communication with those in our close circle
• whether and what we decide to contribute to the public debates going around us.

The first point has already been touched upon in previous musings. The latter point is for a different occasion. So maybe some musings on communication with our own circle could stimulate some thinking?

When I think to my life, there are 4 areas critical for effective communication. My children; my spouse; work and extended family and friends.

With children the aim is to communicate love and security, a sense of values, an understanding of right and wrong,encouragement to learn and contribute,create an environment for fun and joy. Consistency is important so that when discipline is needed it is understood. The most effective person at disciplining children I have ever seen is our friend Helen. When everyone else ( including me) raises their voice, Helen lowers her voice to a whisper- discipline whilst maintaining calm – so impressive! Whether we appreciate it or not, how a parent communicates is a significant factor in the development of a child into a balanced human being.

Communication with your spouse is the bedrock of the most important relationship in life. Our relationship was/is built on small talk. Sure we talk about the big things but we each take an interest in the minutiae of life, supporting each other and developing common interests. I like to talk to CP about the books she reads – I then read the ones she really likes so we can then have a deeper discussion.I love it when I am out in the garden and she pops to have a chat about what I am doing- better still when she makes a suggestion or two.The very first Led Zeppelin song I ever heard was “Communication Breakdown” – something not needed here! It amazes me that after 47 years of marriage, we are still learning about each other – a great reason not to take each other for granted!

Conversations with the extended family, taking an interest in their lives, including them in your life is a way to enrich, grow and reinforce the family circle. This is especially true with aging parents and grandparents whose world may be shrinking- this helps to keep them vital. Ditto people in our community. Conversation is very much a two way thing- giving and receiving – with the whole being much better off. Being approachable within the family is the key to helping each other out when the going gets tough- something that happens to us all.

At work, the success of the enterprise is down to people. The catalyst is often the leader who is deemed to be “a people person”. At the heart of being a people person is the skill of communication. Being a good listener;being clear about your vision and desires; being able to engage both upward and downward- taking everyone with you; being cognizant of your non verbal self. It is easier to execute, put into practice, something that has been communicated well and understood. Being a great communicator does not guarantee success though, operational skills are important too, but communication is the bedrock to superior performance.

The style of communication required can be very specific in each of the different settings- working with Trade Unions is different to communicating with your better half. This was nicely brought home to me when we were having a family discussion around the dinner table and my youngest, caught me short, by asking me “ not to bring my management bullshit “ to family chats. Wisdom out of the mouth of babes!

Body language, huffing and puffing, sulking, not being present all send a message. Smiling, gesturing, enthusing, emitting energy also sends a message. Communication is not just the words we say. Big issue dialogue and small talk all add to the quality of our days and lives.